Happy Friday, ya’ll. Let’s see how consistent I can be with a round-up of the things that baffled me during the week most:
1. Poor Customer Service Come-uppance AND Geriatric Limitations
I drove up to my local McD’s recently for one of their enormous iced coffees. It was going to be a long day. I pulled into the lot and was headed to the drive thru. Well. I was halted in my tracks because a very ancient man was lying in the road. Some paramedics that had been lunching at this fine establishment were attending the toppled man who hadn’t been able to walk to his car without falling on his ass, poor guy. My perplexion centered on why the paramedics were helping him up and then WALKING HIM TO HIS CAR. Seriously? He can’t’ walk 20 feet, but let’s put him behind the wheel.
There was no one in front of me in line, once I got inside but it still took about 11 minutes for me to leave with my coffee, which turned out to have all of the sugary crap that I had asked be omitted in it . Since there weren’t many things competing for the staff’s attention to explain the wait and confusion, I offered my feedback over the phone, which is encouraged on the receipt. I’m all for improving life for the next person. I was thanked for the info, and then offered a free coffee upon my return. I said that my return was unlikely, unless I had a ton of time to kill, and was then told that all I would need to do on my next never-going-to-happen visit was to tell them that McD’s quality control sent me for a free drink, cuz I had given feedback. Huh. Yeah. I wonder what THAT coffee would taste like? A mix of loogies and boogies, no doubt. Pass.
2. Wardrobe selection when exercising your right to bear arms.
I was perusing the wares at Best Buy in the super suburban Greenbrier area, when I noticed a fellow shopper and, with a piece holstered at his hip. I am a general believer in this right, but I do have some personal stipulations, that I wish the regulators who regulate this sort of thing shared with me. Certain stipulations for common sensical practices, if you will.
This very young-looking, fire arm –toting fellow was wearing some plaid elastic waist shorts. I won’t comment on this blight in his wardrobe with regards to fashion, but instead as a foundation for a holster. For heaven’s sake. Elastic is stretchy, and pistols are heavy. I just don’t see how this was a wise decision on his part, and the precarious/wobbly nature of his gun’s settlement made me so uncomfortable that I left the store. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye because the lad bent over to check out the price on a Walker Texas Ranger box set.
The Becoming Year... 
Hey. I’ve enjoyed several of your posts; in fact, every one that I’ve read. As for myself, I am stuck in a bit of a rut with my writing, so I’ve been glad to learn from you that simply ANYTHING can be made into an entertaining read if only it is written well. Did I understand you to say that you are writing a book? If so, will you let me know the title so I can purchase and read it? That is, Unless it is about emo youth or vampires, which seems doubtful :^) The plaid shorts guy sounds annoying. Someone should take his gun from him, empty the bullets, put an orange cap on the barrel and tell him he can have a real gun when he’s old enough to wear pants. it’s probably his picture that liberals show at congressional meetings on gun control in effort to sway the vote. Thanks for stopping by my site, and good luck with getting/staying in shape.
Why thank you- I’m looking forward to keeping up with your challenging essays as well. I am indeed writing a book (memoir/femoir), and the title (which will likely not be up to me, when all is said and done) will be something to like: Why I am Single, or Frogs and Strange Men are Drawn to Me. I do hope you read it and then like it so much that you buy 400 copies so that you can line the walls of your home with it. Think about it.
Your ideas on stretchy plaid shorts guy have merit, and I’ve been saying for years that I should sit on some judge panel that all ideas which may potentially impact at least 5 people need pass through, and this is just the sort of decision we would hand down. I’ll keep you posted if that ever happens, in case you’re interested in consulting.
Oh yes. I would be even more than interested in consulting. In fact, I would revel in it. You see, My ideas are always wonderful, especially when it comes to judging the stupidity of others. Hey, um.. will we get to wear bench wigs. I feel that proper judges should never be without a bench wig..
Something tells me you have a bench wig on a shelf just begging to be worn. I’ll consider it. I am especially seeking individuals who think that their ideas are wonderful at all times.
(p.s. The new pic is meant to help readers connect, man. It humanizes me way more than any shoe ever did.)
I meant the picture for that other post. The one of you, I assume. You looked angry. It showed up in my email… then when I went to your site, it was gone. Replaced by the small woman walking along with the very large man. I do however like the picture of you grinning while being attacked by a raccoon. Humanizing is always good. Kind of like bench wigs.
Oh. Oh. That pic. Stock photo, and she was just too intense, I felt. But she had just the sort of wet head you would want to Botox.
I’m checking on bench wig pricing, btw. Bet they’re cheaper when you buy in bulk.
sometimes it’s just hard to believe the stuff you come across! Who woulda thought it’d be a gun in Best Buy? So funny
Holy crap! Uhm. I mean… never mind.
Hilarious! Thank you for the laughs (and mental pictures), now maybe I can get through my boring as heck homework. 🙂